Like He Understood
So, this guy named Dave came up from the city
And it was clear that he was pretty
Enthusiastic, you might say,
He came up to work as much as to play
Wanted to mow and grow some stuff
But he soon learned enthusiasm wasn’t enough
So he relied on his neighbors and his very first chore
Was to pay a visit to the fella next door
Whose lawn was smooth as a putting green
And whose garden was the neatest he’d seen
So he waded into some knee-deep clover
Got the to lawn and skedaddled right over
“First things first: How often do I mow?
Every weekend? You’re kidding, whoa”
“Well, Dave, you let it go much past
You gotta cut it twice. Then there’s the cut grass:
You leave too much onto it there
It’s gonna leave some patches bare
Now to garden, you gotta turn up that bit of field
And keep it weeded it you want a yield
Keep it watered, if you don’t have rain
And I mean a good rain,” he’d explain
And, gravely following the best that he could
Dave, he nodded like he understood
So he bought the latest mower in the magazine
It was big, really big, all yellow and green
Stocked up on every tool in the book
Hung each one on a shiny hook
Along the newly whitewashed wall
Of the spruced-up stall
Well he mowed all right, thought he had a knack
Mowed his little domain from front to back
But he gummed up the mower’s works pretty good
After mowing some rocks and some bits of wood
And it wasn’t long before the tiller did stall
So he got on the horn and he made a little call
“My mower needs maybe a tweak or two.”
The guy across the way said, “Gimme a week or two
We’ll have these babies sweetly hummin’
I promise you we’ll get ‘em thrummin’”
And seven days later Dave’s trying to follow
All the guy’s advice but it’s hard to swallow
“See, you gotta have plenty of grease up there
Yeah, spread the stuff around everywhere
And keep this clear so the mice won’t stay
See that’s what’s left of one that didn’t get away
And clean out those belts there, really good”
And Dave, he nodded like he understood
Well, Dave got mowin’ and plantin’ and all
Went a few weeks without makin’ a call
Then there came some heavy rains
With thunder, lightening and broken drains
And a washed out drive going down the slope
But Dave is an optimist, he has hope!
He called another neighbor who does this kinda work
And who drove up the hill to with a rattle and a jerk
And who started right in to explain
“You see Dave, when you have this kinda rain…
You gotta make sure you’ve got somewhere
For the water to go. Look right there
That’s a drain pipe that’s got itself clogged
So now there’s here part’s all waterlogged
What you have to do, is once it’s clear
Weed-whack and shovel right around here
Then the water it’ll flow down pretty good”
And Dave, he nodded like he understood
See, when it comes to practical Dave’s a little slow
He’s a little bit more read than show
So he bought enough books to fill a shelf
And he read all of ‘em, really applied himself
He studied, highlighted and underlined
And some of it started to stick in his mind
But, by summer’s end Dave was a little less eager
And his garden’s output was pretty meager
But he wasn’t mowing rocks or sticks anymore
And the tiller was behaving a bit more sure
The driveway held in a ragged way
But sometimes he’d have to call a neighbor who’d say:
Something like: “Dave, you gotta put down some manure
That pile of horse dung there, that’ll work sure
And keep the critters out, or they’ll eat all your stuff
A low fence like that, well it just ain’t enough”
“You gotta put some pressure onto it where…
Then just jiggle it here, and wiggle this there
Then you just lift ‘er up like that, see?
Any other trouble, you just bring ‘er to me”
“You’re not really gonna learn it from a book
You learn by experience, by hook or by crook”
“Like I told you, Dave, sooner or later
You’re gonna have to clean out that carburator”
“Ya gotta keep clearin’ that there swale
Or the drive’ll be lost in the very next gale”
And Dave, whose mind was turning into wood
And whose stomach now wasn’t feeling very good
And though he was trying the best that he could
He knew he wasn’t following as he should
Well, Dave, Dave Dave, Dave?
He kept on nodding like he understood
All words and music by Dave Hall ©
Publisher: Row House Music PRO: ASCAP
